In Japanese philosophy, there is a concept called Ma. It is often described as the space between—the pause between notes, the silence between words, the stillness that gives meaning to movement. It is not empty. It is alive, relational, and full of possibility.
I have come to learn that our deepest work, our deepest healing lives in the space between.
Discomfort and uncertainty have a way of collapsing that space. The moment something feels off, unclear, or emotionally charged, our bodies instinctively move to close the gap. We rush to fix, to numb, to decide, to make meaning, to regain control. We leave the moment before we’ve even fully arrived.
And yet, the practice I keep returning to—again and again—is not about becoming better at solving discomfort, but about learning how to stay. Of befriending Discomfort. Befriending Uncertainty. Resting in the sacredness and stillness of Ma. Trusting the process. Trusting the timing. Trusting the unfolding.
Our deepest work, our deepest healing lives in the space between
To stay with the tightness in my chest – simply noticing.
To stay with the question without rushing toward an answer.
To stay with the unknown long enough for something more honest, more grounded, to emerge.
This is the practice of Ma.
It lives in the breath—the subtle pause between inhale and exhale.
It lives in the body—the moment between sensation arising and the story we attach to it.
It lives in relationship—the space between what is said and what is heard.
And when we begin to notice it, something shifts.
Discomfort doesn’t disappear. Uncertainty doesn’t resolve on command. But suddenly it feels more spacious. There is more room around the experience. More space to feel without being overwhelmed or judged. More space to notice without reacting. More space to choose.
This is where capacity begins to grow.
Not by pushing past our edges, but by gently meeting them—and pausing there. Not collapsing inward, and not forcing outward, but allowing ourselves to rest in that threshold. The threshold where Discomfort and Uncertainty take up space. The place where we are aware enough to sense ourselves, even as something difficult is present.
How can we move between what feels uncomfortable and what feels supportive. To notice the transition between the two. In that movement—in that in-between—Ma becomes tangible.
It is not something we have to create. It is something we remember.
And from that remembering, choice becomes available.
We begin to notice the moment before we react.
The moment before we say yes when we mean no.
The moment before we turn away from what we are feeling.
And in that moment, however brief, there is a quiet question:
Do I stay? And in that moment, we make a grounded choice.
There is no right answer. The practice is not in staying at all costs. The practice is in knowing that we can choose. That we are not only our impulses. That we are not at the mercy of urgency.
That there is space.
Over time, this changes our relationship not only to discomfort, but to ourselves and to all other beings.
We begin to trust that we can meet what arises.
We begin to listen more deeply—not just to others, but inwardly.
We begin to recognize that clarity does not always come from thinking harder or doing more, but from the simple allowing and noticing of space, the space between.
And perhaps this is the quiet remembering that Ma offers us:
That the space we so often rush past…
is the very space that holds us.
The very space that heals us.
Not because it takes discomfort or uncertainty away,
but because it changes how we are in relationship with them.
In Ma, discomfort is no longer something to escape,
but something we can sit beside.
Uncertainty is no longer something to resolve,
but something we can soften into.
In Ma, we are not bracing against life.
We are in conversation with it.
And over time, something subtle, yet profound, begins to shift.
What once felt unbearable becomes workable.
What once felt urgent begins to slow.
What once felt like something happening to us
becomes something we can meet, with presence.
This is not about becoming unshaken.
It is about becoming more spacious.
Ahnung Way 